Wrote a poem about it. Like to hear it? Here it goes...

This is a poem I wrote for a class last semester that sums up how I have felt in my own little world...


Ode To Size 14
Oh! How I tried
to suck in my gut
to make myself
look lean
and thin
and
NOT FAT.

I would fit into
those size 14 jeans
if it was the last thing I did.
SIZE 14

White-hot determination
gave way to sweaty thighs
that stuck to the fabric

So big and yet
so small
to me
SIZE
14

I yanked
and I pulled
I groaned
and I gasped

I begged the zipper,
“Please, just a little more.
I promise those pancakes
meant nothing to me.”

The zipper sneered at me
and let out a guffaw
loud enough
for the neighbors to hear.

I attempted to silence
the sound
of the zipper’s laughter
by lying down
and sucking it in
just a little more.
14 was the number
that allowed me
to re-enter the world
and not shop
in the, “Big Girl”
section any longer.

My final attack
on those jeans
and their zipper
was relentless.

I forced myself upon them
without their consent
and I liked it.
I liked the way
I could barely move
or speak
or breathe

I
was size 14.